June 19, 2008
BAIT THAT FISHING HOOK
BAIT THAT FISHING HOOK
June 18, 2008
FEEL OUT OF PLACE ON WALL STREET Bathroom! Quick, my friend! 

FEEL OUT OF PLACE ON WALL STREET

Bathroom! Quick, my friend! 

CONCERN KLEENEX SHAREHOLDERS  
CONCERN KLEENEX SHAREHOLDERS  
June 5, 2008
LEAVE THE DJ ALONE Well what CDs are you willing to play??! I’ve got some rockin’ French techno on me!!!

LEAVE THE DJ ALONE

Well what CDs are you willing to play??! I’ve got some rockin’ French techno on me!!!

KEEP THE MIRROR ON THE WALL
KEEP THE MIRROR ON THE WALL
May 25, 2008
PLAY IT COOL AT THE REGISTER These bills… why, they’re all rolled up!?! To think someone went into my wallet and did this? And this white residue… I blame the parents.

PLAY IT COOL AT THE REGISTER

These bills… why, they’re all rolled up!?! To think someone went into my wallet and did this? And this white residue…

I blame the parents.

May 24, 2008
UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT OF TIME I’ll come meet you right now!! I’m in Jersey— it’ll take me like 5 minutes to get to the Upper East Side! I’ll see you at like midnight, okay*?! Go down to the stoop; be there in a few! I just need like 4 more beers and a good lay first… *Spoken at 4 a.m.

UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT OF TIME

I’ll come meet you right now!! I’m in Jersey— it’ll take me like 5 minutes to get to the Upper East Side! I’ll see you at like midnight, okay*?! Go down to the stoop; be there in a few!

I just need like 4 more beers and a good lay first…

*Spoken at 4 a.m.

May 22, 2008
FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE WORKING AT AMERICAN APPAREL And if you don’t already work there but have always wanted to, come on in and grab an application! The time to act is now! Fat, sober and over 23 is no way to go through life.

FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE WORKING AT AMERICAN APPAREL

And if you don’t already work there but have always wanted to, come on in and grab an application! The time to act is now! Fat, sober and over 23 is no way to go through life.

May 21, 2008
LIKE YOUR NOSE PIERCINGS
LIKE YOUR NOSE PIERCINGS
May 20, 2008
SIT FOR THE FAMILY PORTRAIT
SIT FOR THE FAMILY PORTRAIT
May 19, 2008
AMUSE THE BOUNCER
AMUSE THE BOUNCER
May 16, 2008
PASS A LIE DETECTOR TEST Ma’am, not only is your heart beating rapidly, which obviously confirms your guilt… But, well, we’ve never actually seen a blood pressure as high as yours before..? Are your eyes naturally black, or are those your pupils?

PASS A LIE DETECTOR TEST

Ma’am, not only is your heart beating rapidly, which obviously confirms your guilt… But, well, we’ve never actually seen a blood pressure as high as yours before..?

Are your eyes naturally black, or are those your pupils?

May 15, 2008
DINNER You can go to dinner, certainly. But you won’t be the one eating it.

DINNER

You can go to dinner, certainly. But you won’t be the one eating it.

May 14, 2008
WORK A night on the slopes can be extremely exhausting. What you need is some rest. What? You don’t have any sick days left?

WORK

A night on the slopes can be extremely exhausting. What you need is some rest.

What?

You don’t have any sick days left?

May 13, 2008
…DOTH SPEAKEST FOR ITSELF, NO? “Superb! A must-read for any true cokehead!” - Dude on the cover “Yay-O!” - Woman on the cover

…DOTH SPEAKEST FOR ITSELF, NO?

“Superb! A must-read for any true cokehead!” - Dude on the cover

“Yay-O!” - Woman on the cover