Things You Can't Do Coked Up RSS

Here is a list of things that would be difficult to do following a session with our little white friend, cocaine.

Got Ideas? Stories? Drop me a line: thingsyoucantdocokedup
@ gmail.com
(you know you wanna)



Best of:
  • Use the bathroom alone
  • Jenga
  • Look as good in the photo
  • Remain moderate
  • Win a staring contest
  • Make the best of that long flight


    • Roll:
  • Street Boners and TV Carnage
    Animal New York

    Archive

    • Oct
    30th
    Thu
    permalink
    PETTING ZOOS

    PETTING ZOOS

    Sep
    16th
    Tue
    permalink
    VACCINATIONS Take it like a fucking man, Sally. There’s no crying in cocaine and booster shots.

    VACCINATIONS

    Take it like a fucking man, Sally. There’s no crying in cocaine and booster shots.

    Sep
    11th
    Thu
    permalink
    GIFT-WRAPPING

    GIFT-WRAPPING

    Aug
    27th
    Wed
    permalink
    GROUP THERAPY Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. How the fuck did Freud put up with this shit? Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up…

    GROUP THERAPY

    Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. How the fuck did Freud put up with this shit? Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up…

    Aug
    22nd
    Fri
    permalink
    ATTEND YOUR LITTLE SISTER’S DANCE RECITAL

    ATTEND YOUR LITTLE SISTER’S DANCE RECITAL

    Aug
    18th
    Mon
    permalink
    “BE RIGHT BACK”

    “BE RIGHT BACK”

    Aug
    13th
    Wed
    permalink
    REMAIN IN-SYNC You’re a time zone ahead of everyone else’s meter, Janice. Does “ensemble” mean nothing to you?!? Grant, work on your Pas de bourree. I’m going out for a Vitamin Water and a cigarette. Janice, there’s no “I” in “fuck you.” Take a xanax and loose the puffy vest?  

    REMAIN IN-SYNC

    You’re a time zone ahead of everyone else’s meter, Janice. Does “ensemble” mean nothing to you?!? Grant, work on your Pas de bourree. I’m going out for a Vitamin Water and a cigarette. Janice, there’s no “I” in “fuck you.” Take a xanax and loose the puffy vest?  

    Aug
    11th
    Mon
    permalink
    REMAIN CALM WHEN A CAMERA IS PRODUCED AGGGHHH. Oh my god. Must. Jump. In. Front.

    REMAIN CALM WHEN A CAMERA IS PRODUCED

    AGGGHHH. Oh my god. Must. Jump. In. Front.

    Aug
    7th
    Thu
    permalink
    QUELL THE “FIST PUMP”

    QUELL THE “FIST PUMP”

    Aug
    5th
    Tue
    permalink
    PLAY BARBER

    PLAY BARBER

    Aug
    4th
    Mon
    permalink
    QUIT YOUR JOB IN TALK RADIO You’re annoying. Get paid for it.

    QUIT YOUR JOB IN TALK RADIO

    You’re annoying. Get paid for it.

    Aug
    1st
    Fri
    permalink
    ENJOY SUNRISE Apparently when your watch read “5:00 am,” it didn’t mean “just after midnight,” like you thought.  “Time” had really better get his act together… 

    ENJOY SUNRISE

    Apparently when your watch read “5:00 am,” it didn’t mean “just after midnight,” like you thought. 

    “Time” had really better get his act together… 

    Jul
    30th
    Wed
    permalink
    ROLLER COASTERS

    ROLLER COASTERS

    Jul
    29th
    Tue
    permalink
    GET AN iPHONE3G   Lines don’t mix well with lines. Oh, irony.

    GET AN iPHONE3G  

    Lines don’t mix well with lines. Oh, irony.

    Jul
    24th
    Thu
    permalink
    BE DISCREET Not that I blame him. If I did coke with Scarlett Johansson and was a graffiti virtuoso, I might do the same. Of course, I would try and spell her name right. But perhaps that was part of the “art.” Or an (*snnnniffff) oversight?   http://gawker.com/5028729/scarjos-private-life-revealed-in-graffiti

    BE DISCREET

    Not that I blame him. If I did coke with Scarlett Johansson and was a graffiti virtuoso, I might do the same. Of course, I would try and spell her name right. But perhaps that was part of the “art.” Or an (*snnnniffff) oversight?  

    http://gawker.com/5028729/scarjos-private-life-revealed-in-graffiti